My Pet Peeves

Please note that this is a ranting blog and that I am not attacking any one person.

1. I get angry when someone, who did not vote in the last election, complains about the President of the United States. In my personal opinion, if you did not vote at all, you have no right to complain, so stop telling how terrible congress is. Unless you voiced your opinion and exercised your God given right to vote, I will not have any sort of debate with you and you will hear my rant about how much I could care less about your complaints. Either you try your best to fix the country or you sit down and shut up while the rest of us try.

2. I hate it when I am driving and notice I need to change lanes and the person behind sees the exact same need for a lane change and speeds up or waits until the last minute to do so. Is shaving 5 seconds off your tie really going to get you there faster. I intentionally do not let those people in my lane and when they do make an attempt, I become a rude driver and speed up so they think they will get hit. You are not going to be rude and get away with it. I know, I am mean about it but really...are we so desperate to get ahead by five cars?

3. This one is more directed at youtube. I was watching a video and some jerk had the nerve to post (in the comments) profanity about this family and continued to bash on their videos (he is a repeat offender of said action and I had had enough). I stated what I always think when I see haters bashing on people's youtube videos..."you're just jealous that he is so famous on youtube that even your negative comment pays his bills. If you really hate his videos why do you watch every single day? Either enjoy his hard work or shut up and beat it." Again, I know I may have come off as harsh, but seriously, why are you wasting your time watching it and then writing terrible comments if you hate his videos so much? It doesn't make any sense to me.

4. I absolutely can't stand people who complain about their lives when someone who has been through far worse is standing right next to them. I witnessed this once. A former friend of mine would constantly complain about his broken thumb and how life sucked for him because he had no money to go to the hospital when a woman I love and admire just lost her daughter and she was trying to save her marriage and paying two mortgages because she couldn't pay to bring her daughters body back for New Zealand. Seriously, I guarantee someone has it worse than you. Yes, I complain and I know I do, but show some respect when you are around someone whom you know has practically lost everything.

These are just a few but I needed to get this out their.

Monday is Do or Die Day

As many of you know, I work for the Springville High School music department as the colorguard director! Now, as part of my employment there, I assist in generating a budget and finance list to see what I can provide for my students. Due to some recent political upheaval within the Utah WInterguard Circuit, my band director has asked me if I want to stay in the circuit and continue the ever-so-tiring fight with the circuit, or help raise over $2,500 for the kids to go out-of-state and compete. This is a tough call so I asked if I could decide next Monday. There is a fundraiser happening this weekend that the students generally do fairly well in and we are waiting on a grant for new drums and instruments. Everything will be decided officially by Saturday, but since the district office is closed during the weekend, we don't get our final budget report until Monday. So, Monday is a big day to say the least. Monday determine whether we have a choice or not in the matter. I am hoping we have enough funds to stay in the circuit and still travel since the kids will be in the middle of a heat political debate among the circuit board members and directors. Cross your fingers for us!!!

Something's coming...

I am working on a project. Some of my readers will like it and some will just be "meh" about it. When it is ready you will know!

The "Final" Stretch

Today is Friday. Next week is the last full week of the Fall 2011 semester and then I hit finals. All my finals are on the same day...Wednesday. Yup, I will have test from 8am to 8pm, but then I am completely done...finished! Yes! I will be happy to get a long break from school. I a getting to the worn out point. Good thing next week is the "final" stretch (I am so silly). I will be spending most of my break unpacking and working. But it will be nice to finally be unpacked and have my room in order!

Life is not always fair...

I must give a small (or not-so-small) story for everyone of my readers to understand the title of my post. It starts when I was a child, but please note this story is not about me...

I had these two friends. They were brother and sister. He was older than his sister by 15 months. They were very close. I was in between them in age so naturally we all bonded. We all know the story. We were friends!

Now, let us fast forward a bit. I went to high school with both of them! I saw them as they went through those formative years. They struggled a bit in the church, but came back. The sister had met a wonderful man that brought her back. The brother struggle with severe depression but always had his best friend little sister guiding him!

Then something happened to this brother. His depression became so bad, he felt there was only one way out of it. He took his own life. He left a note for his family, but his little sister didn't know about her personal note from her best friend until just before his funeral. He stated to "never feel guilty. You kept me happy longer and I got to share many years with my little sister. But you must live your life as a beautiful married woman and I can't always have you to keep me happy. No, you did nothing wrong..." (taken from the information behind her brother's death). This little sister continually mourned the lose of her best friend. She hang a picture of him over her babies crib to remind her baby that her guardian angel uncle is watching over her.

Now, fast forward to 2011. This little sister is carrying her second baby, being an amazing mommy to her other baby and being adored by a man who couldn't stay long. The man who lifted her when her big brother passed, who was her strength and motivation to raise their daughter correctly. This man passed before seeing the birth of their second baby, another girl he would adore and spoil with his two other girls.

Now, she must be stronger than ever for her precious little one and the up and coming bundle of joy. Life can be unfair to those who don't deserve it. Yet, it seems the strongest among us go through the toughest times.

This is dedicated to that little sister. She has been through more sorrow than anyone should have to endure and more happiness than anyone can imagine.

Love you girl! Let's go play hide and seek at church one more time just to take your mind off of things for a bit!

Adjusting?

I am taking a small break from completely unpacking to provide somewhat of an update on my blog. I have a bed in my room along with a filing cabinet and a dresser (among other things) in my room. I have been living here since August but I haven't felt adjusted yet and I think it has to do with the constant flow of stuff coming into the house. I tend to have trouble adjusting when change like this happens. I am not necessarily unhappy with living here it just takes time for me to get myself established. I don't think I will be fully established until everything is unpacked and my room is arranged how I want it. I will post pictures and a video of things when I get the time to do so. I at least have a few videos of the basement (where my room is) and plan on getting the whole house soon.

I never realized how much stuff I had until I actually moved. I am grateful to be downsizing. Some of the stuff I own I have had since I was six years old and don't need it anymore. I am excited to go through things, donate stuff and really just start downsizing and get my room in order! I will feel more comfortable once I have everything in order. Plus, it doesn't help that finals are coming up and I have a lot of pending assignments and a lot to focus on. So, I will end this entry to focus on more unpacking so that I can spend my time this week on school and work!

It's Not For Everyone

I had an interesting discussion about school a few weeks ago with some friends of mine. I am a double major, one of which is in dance. Many of my fellow classmates are contracted with big companies. One girl in particular is having a difficult time in school. She has been in college for almost eight years now and is feeling as though college is not for her. She is a good enough dancer to make it into a BIG dance company if she wanted and already has a teaching job at a local studio. She was discussing the possibility of not going to school anymore because she just doesn't think it is right for her. This made me think a lot.

Now, I am not going to drop out of school (at least not right now) but I thought a lot about education in general. I know plenty of people who went to college and and are successful. I know plenty others who did not attend or finish college and are just as, if not, more successful. This country has this huge push for education stating that most employers think that their applicants must have a college degree to function in the working world. Then why do some of my friend with a Bachelor or Masters Degree have a difficult time finding a job and some of my friends who didn't attend college have greater success than the others. Because, college is not for everyone. I am a big believer in hard work, dedication and perseverance. Why is it such a big deal when someone decides to drop out of college because it is not for them. Stop telling these college drop-outs that they are lazy. I know a girl that went to college for two years and is making more money as a stylist than she thought she would. I am a believer in a good proper education but not necessarily in a college or university. People don't seem to understand that the work education means gaining knowledge. If a mechanic never goes to school for his trade, but manages to fix every car that comes his way, does that mean he is uneducated. No, I would like to see some of my readers try to fix a car and be good at it. He talks about how he doesn't want to see his costumers again, not because he doesn't like people, but because it means he did a good job fixing that person's car! We need the mechanics, the hair dressers, the carpenters and guess what, some of these trades don't require school but, instead experience.

So, the next person that comments about how their mechanic is lazy for not going to college to learn their trade, shame on you. Some people are not suited for in-class learning or it may not be for them. I promise, they are not any less educated, unless your definition of an educated mind involves having a Bachelors Degree. We are all just doomed if that is the case.

Last Day to Vote

Today ids the last day to vote for Springville in the Glee Give a Note Project. Even though Springville will most likely make it to the next round, 15% of the judges score is how much the audience liked the video (voted). So, everyone please go to www.gleegiveanote.com hit the vote now button, type Springville High School (the entire name because there is a Springville school and a Springville High School) and click on the Springville High School (from Utah) vote. Then click vote! The site only tracks IP addresses so if you have multiple computers you can vote ore than once. The kids really need this and could use new instruments! Vote, vote vote!

...and they're off!

***NOTE: This blog was started on Friday at 2:30am and finished Friday at 11:30pm...

I know, I know...I should be in bed getting as much sleep as possible before band tour tomorrow. I get picked up at 5am and then the mayhem begins...but I can't seem to sleep at the moment. I am excited. Even though the marching band kids have not been doing well in terms of scores, they have excelled as students and performers! I can see them giving it their all at every performance opportunity. I can guarantee the band director and I will most likely not get any sleep, but just may be worth it.

So, as part of my not sleeping routine, I have decided to clean and unpack everything. I have made some interesting discoveries about myself. First, I like to hide money in odd places. In the cleaning that I have done I have found $200 in 20 dollar bills and who knows how much in coins (I am pretty sure it was over $20)! Second, I just have too much stuff. Luckily, I have a GIANT sell pile of stuff I don't need. My sister came a while ago and noted that I could easily make a couple hundred bucks just off the clothing I own that I have never worn or don't fit into anymore! That was a positive thing for her to say and I was quite excited by that prospect! I am hoping for just a bit more than that!

Now, this exhausted girl is crawling into bed!

My Desire to Dream

I am so happy to have y best friend in the whole world in town right now. He always tells me how much he is inspired by my desire to dream and dream big. I can tell him anything and he never laughs or says such goals are unattainable. However, I do feel bad. He tells me many times that he envies me and wonders how I can be friends with someone like him, who does not have a job and currently does not go to school. He lives in California with his parents but we manage to talk every night and without fail he always tells me how proud of me he is (apparently he brags to his friends at home about me!) and without fail picks me up when I fall down.

The other day while I was hanging out with him at his biological mom's house (he was adopted as a baby) we talked about our biggest dreams. I am a HUGE dreamer. There is so much that I want out of life. We were  sitting on the grass patch near his mom's house and I told him everything about what I want to do and what I want from life. I told him of my desire to dream, fulfill my dreams and dream some more. I then stopped mid sentence to think. He turned to me and asked why I stopped. Here is my answer, I have another dream added to my list. I know what I want in life...some things I think I will wait for (whether I choose to or not) but I know what I want in life.

As Brian and I were talking about life, he said something that is not too shocking now, but it was a bit surprising when he pointed it out. He noted that I am a super independent person. He noted that he is not surprised by some of my dreams and has no doubt I will achieve them. He pointed that I am a hard-working and stubborn girl who will go after things full force. He also says that he feels many people are intimidated by this fact. I'd like to think I am a generally nice and approachable person, but I can see his point. I am kind of an odd ball (okay so maybe kind of is an understatement). I march to the beat of my own drummer and try to just go after what I want! I will have to create another blog about some (not all) of these dreams).

P.S. Don't forget to keep voting for Springville High School as part of the Glee Give a Note Project. They really need new instruments.

Glee Give a Note Project-Springville

I am writing this blog mostly out of desperation and determination. As many of my readers know, I currently work at Springville High School as the colorguard director, assistant visual director and occasionally help with music. I don't get to see the budget to the music department at Springville, but I do hear about money woes from the band teacher and face issues with the budget as well. This post will contain a lot of inforation that I think is needed to prove my point. The Springville High School Percussion posted a video on the Glee-Give a Note Project website. The purpose...to win money for the school. You see our goal this year is to raise enough money for new drums. The drummers need it too. Almost all of the Bass Drums have the ris falling off (rims hold the drum together) and the snares nearly fall apart everyday. We need new insturments and colorguard equipment and winning this money can help our program improve a lot!

Here is how you can help us out too! Go to www.gleegiveanote.com. Then go to the vote now section. At the top you have the option of viewing videos from different states...go to Utah. Springville will be on that page. Watch and click to vote botton everyday on a different computer (it tracks IP addresses). Every vote helps! Please and thank you!

Finding Myself By Getting Lost...

I have had a rough couple of weeks recently. I rarely share them with people because I just don't want too. However, I saw a friend of mine yesterday while I was sitting in the food court eating some lunch. I can usually spot him because he has longer hair (well, longer than most guys) and he always has his guitar with him. This time, I didn't even notice him. So, I sat down and barely five seconds after I sit down he has planted his stuff at the table I was sitting at. He said Hi and immediately asked what was wrong. He knew something was off. Apparently he had said hi as I passed his table but I just bee lined it to the one I eventually choose. He did not know me to be so unfocused and not notice people. So, I proceed to talk, just talk...and he listened. We had a conversation and something about going away for a while to find myself came up. He encouraged me to find a significant among of time (several weeks) to just disappear for a while...go somewhere to "find who you are because sometimes we need that." Now, I am not saying I would do this now, but just sounds so nice. He even said something that made me happy..."you don't have to go to a vacation spot to disappear. It can be anywhere you want or no where at all. Just find time for yourself. Disappear..." Maybe in order to find myself, I have to get lost...I like that idea!

At Long Last...

I decided to take a break from packing to mark this momentous occasion. After living in Carriage Cove Apartments since August 2007, I am moving. I am no longer staying in Carriage Cove. My parents are moving from the state of beautiful Oregon to Utah (not that it doesn't have it's own beauty because it does...I am just slightly bitter that my parents will no longer be living in my home state). It doesn't seem real to me. I will be moving from the furtherest Northern end of Provo to the furthest Southern end of Provo. I am excited though. I get to paint my room, go through stuff and down size, organize my room the way I want it organized and arranged, and save money living at home! I will be excited when the piano gets here so I can practice! I am especially excited for my niece, Baby Claire to visit quite often (can you say babysitting?)! Even though, I don't like the fact that I am moving, I am looking at all the positives to it!

A Great Saturday!

I had the blessed opportunity to sleep in this morning (if you call waking up at 8:30am sleeping) and very excited about this fact. I rolled out of bed, got some things done...and then went to Seven Peaks Water Park to celebrate the end of band camp! For the last week, Monday through Friday, from 8am to 5 pm, the Springville High School Marching Band and Colorguard practised, staged, drilled, rehearse and worked very very hard to get a difficult and visually challenging show on the field! We got 3/4 of the drill in place with music, about 30% of the work for the colorguard done and brainstormed several ideas about potential future rehearsals! The kids will have a refresher rehearsal on Tuesday. I was told not to give any new work, but I think completing the dance feature and the flag feature will put the colorguard right where they need to be those to sections alone complete 112 or 50 music measures or 6 drill pages of the show bringing the colorguard to 50% of the work completed)! Then the next rehearsal after that I will fill in minute details and flag work to complete what we have so far.

I came to a decision yesterday, that I slept on and feel good about today (another reason why it is a great Saturday)! While writing work for my girls, I heard all of them say everything except the flag feature, rifle feature and dance feature are super easy. I sat down with Jamie Teot, the band director to talk to her about this. I know the girls want a difficult show, but they also want to achieve higher scores this year (last year they never got higher than fifth as a colorguard in any captions or sub-captions). I can't give them both...not yet. So, I sat down with Jamie and told her that I am making everything easy for several reasons (as I will list below):

1. Even though their show is heavy on the visuals, giving them too much at this time will not be good for them. They will shut down and not be able to achieve the work until later in the game (maybe even when it is too late).

2. I have a plan to get them clean and perfect for their first show. So clean, in fact, that I want the judges to tell me to make their work more difficult! The girls have beautiful doubles and triples, but they are inconsistent when they catch. I see improvements from them everyday and that gives me hope. I think if they start getting their catches down, they can move their tosses up! But we have to start easy for a reason!

3. I want them to have an excellent movement book this year (when I say book I mean I write and they execute)! I am making work super easy so that they can have leaps and turns. Movement is not their strongest category so I am hoping with more movement that practice and get stronger!

4. When I see them have glazed over looks, I know their brains are trying to process everything and giving them more when they are note ready to receive it yet will only do more harm than good!

I am confident that they will succeed if they are willing to put in the time and effort!

Then, Seven Peaks today was a nice way for me and Jamie to unwind and relax. We spent most of the time together and had a blast!

Now, I watch the DCI scores! Blue Knights got 9th place (yes!) with a score of 89.2 (their colorguard received eighth overall)! Amazing season BK and congratulations to all my drum corp friends for such an amazing season! Best Saturday ever!

Wild Wednesday

I just have to make it through the day and then I will be happy. I will still have lots of homework and lots to study for, but I won't have everything due in one day (four papers, two research projects and two midterms...all today). I just have to get through all of it and then some (my plan is to get a head in homework tonight) and then I can relax a bit (only a bit) tomorrow!

Love should not be conditional...

I have had it. I am taking a stand. Yes, this is a ranting blog, but I am so sick of such close-minded people. Yes, I do believe in God and that His love IS unconditional. I am also a liberal-minded person, or as some people might say, a democrat (I am more toward the independent party but a good chunk of what I believe falls into the Democrat category). Yes, my best friend (one of them) is gay. Next person that tells me that I am going to hell because I am associating myself with homosexual people is going to get socked in the face...hard. Last time I checked, Christ walked among sinners. He never judged anyone. So, why are we all judging.

I had someone tell me that righteous judging meant disassociating myself from "those gay people." I have decided not to judge anyone. I have a tendency to trust people whom I probably shouldn't trust and forgive them after they have hurt me. Why? Because that is exactly what God would do. Are we not trying to become like God? So, why are so many Christians going after homosexual people who are seeking equality? You want to know what I believe? Are you sure? Okay, I don't care who marries who aslong as they are willing to abide by all laws. We have more important matters to worry about such as child and human trafficking. Why don't we show love to them? Oh, wait. Because we are so wrapped up in deciding who is allowed to marry who and so on. Why don't we take care of the drug issues, or trafficking? Why don't we focus more on our failing economy and less on why gay marriage is or is not okay.

I truly believe the entire world is sick and broken and needs to be healed. There are two BIG factors that I think will help...love and forgiveness for ourselves and others. That's it. That is what I believe will heal this world. Love includes respect. You don't have to like someone, just respect them and agree to disagree. I had a professor that told me, if we didn't choose to disagree, no one would research problems. No one would get informed about political and religious matters. I am not anti-religion. I am just wondering, why must love be conditional? Because of the fact that I believe in so much more, in love and kindness, in forgiveness, I believe the world can be saved.

So, I don't care what you believe, just believe in love. I have seen it work wonders for people when I do something so simple as show love and kindness. I don't care if you don't believe the same things I do, just know that I love you! My love could never be conditional...

What We All Have Been Waiting For!

Fall season is officially here! Today was the second to last parade for my kids but the next parade is a joke so we are not worried about it and it is all the way in September). Now, this week, the kids are getting part of their show and then have two weeks of camp (phew). I just have to make through these next few weeks. Not only do I have every possible assignment due Wednesday, I have to get some fall contracts out, generate the calendars for the colorguard, order shoes and uniforms, take round-up to the back yard at the new house, get through my dance history timeline, generate a rough draft for my long research paper and still have some "me" time in there.

I have decided to include a fun little video involving my students. Their show was titled "In My Arms" with music by Plumb. The video below is the techno version. Take note that I am the one that says "you may now take the floor" and Lindsay is the one yelling "Exhibition!!" After which Lindsay and I could not stop laughing at how hilarious these kids are:




I love these kids. They are crazy and make me laugh!

I Don't Want It to End

Here I am on a Monday morning still happily sitting in my Grandfather's computer room, occasionally looking out the window and remember that I am a Northwest girl looking for the rain and overcast skies and having nostallgic moments. I remember our family trips consisted of driving three hours to Bellevue, Washington to visit the family or the have "cousin camp" for two weeks prior to school starting. Then, everybody grew up and got busy. I sit here and decided, I don't want it to end. I would rather stay here for a long time. I would even be  willing to take care of my grandparents if it meant I could stay. But school and work loom over me and I must return to my students before anyone has a mental breakdown. The next four weeks will be some of the busiest weeks I have known. I will need to get my room at the new house painted by August 17th (since that is when I have to be out of my apartment), have a guard camp and band camp in two weeks (back-to-back), complete finals the week of band camp, take care of all the copyright issues for fall and winter, finish the handbook and website for colorguard, get the media programing for the Springville High School marching band set up, homework, possibly find a second job, AND help around the house. I will be one busy girl for a while.

I love being here in Washington. I don't want to leave, I don't want this trip to end, and I don't want to go. Even the times when I sit and listen to everyone talk, I just feel relaxed. I feel that everything I knew about this place is going to change. I sure hope everyone is happy and healthy for a little while longer. I want to come to everything I knew at least one more time and stay longer than just the weekend.

I don't want any of it to end.

It's not the critic that counts...

"It is not the critic that counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement. And at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."
-President Theodore Roosevelt
Paris 1910

Discussions of Marching Band Staff

I am exhausted. I had a blast on Wednesday watching eight drum corps go head-to-head. I lost my voice half way through just from the excitement and screaming in support! It was such a great time. I loved hearing all the marching band and colorguard students say "whoa" during very visually appealing parts of drum corp shows!! On the way home from Salt Lake City, the band teacher, Ms. Teot (or Jamie) and I had a talk about the upcoming fall season. The band this year is doing a show titled "Pure Imagination." (yes are using the pure imagination song from the older Willy Wonka movie)! We both found out that we have the same feelings. We both truly believe that the kids will reluctantly trust us (the staff) during band camp. We have decided that we will sit them down that first day and tell them that they will be pushed far outside their comfort zone, but we will be holding their hands while it happens. Most of the band will learn VERY basic dance moves to enhance their visual performance. All four of us staff members know we will be stressed out and have a tough road a head of us while we get the kids to trust what we teach and do what we say. Jamie and I feel that this fall is going to be the "recruitment period" as well as the "building" time for the kids. We know the first few performances will be rough. However, my colorguard girls already have the first 40 seconds of their show AND over the next few rehearsals will be getting more and more of their show until the two weeks of camp. Then they will be in overdrive when we give them their whole show the first week and out drill to it the second week (can you guess which staff members will be tuckered out once band camp ends?). There will be so much interaction and visual stuff happening, we, the marching band staff, anticipate high marks in their visual and general effect scores. Plus, the percussion are sounding sharper and sharper every rehearsal. We all predict they will average 5th place (out of 14) the first few competitions and then start the slow climb to top three! I want the colorguard in top three as well. The next few rehearsals and the first week of camp will be spend pounding out technique (they are going to be tired...poor kids) and getting them to at least have the basics of the full week of band camp. That way I can spend the next month of rehearsals after that pounding technique and getting everything to look sharp! Camps start August 1st.

After the bus ride, we kept talking. We noted that last year the kids didn't start to peak until the BYU competition in the middle of the season. If they do that this year and push through the stretch of "close together" shows (they have 5 shows in two weeks and then state four days after that stretch) then they will come out in the top five at state (the staff wants top 3 but we will see how they do as the season progresses). All of the staff and parent volunteers think it can be done. I am hoping. Oh August please be fast.

The only down side to having two weeks worth of camp is the amount of work I will be doing. I will be doing camp with the girls and then going home to do homework. it will be the final weeks of summer block and, looking at my schedule, the toughest in terms of homework. I will have three research papers, a philosophy paper, a library assignment, reading assignment, midterm revisions, journal assignments, and a timeline assignment due (phew!). In fact if I posted a picture of my to do and homework list right now, people would wonder if I ever slept. The answer is not anymore but we will get into that later. Until next time, adios!

This Is When The Doubt Begins

I have come to a realization within the last few days. I really want to spend the new few years, not only directing and teaching Springville High School's colorguard, but to also be a visual technician/consultant to other high school programs. My good friend Cory does something similar...he is the main staff member for an independent group known in American Fork as Wasatch Independent but helps out with American Fork High School, American Leadership Academy and various schools in Idaho, California and Nevada. I was at the Pleasant Grove Strawberry Days Parade and saw a school with a strong colorguard. They have an excellent fall program, placing first in their division every year, but never field a winterguard (last I heard it is because they did not know how to go about it). BUT they have the commitment level. I see their band director at all the winterguard meetings every year interested in starting a program but not knowing where to begin. He has a director and I must say, she is a wonderful director, but does not have the confidence to even start. So, I want to take her under my wing. She can be the director (deal with parents, take care of logistics, decision on music and show concept, etc.) but I would love to choose their costumes, write their drill and work and overall help them move along. Plus if they are successful, then I have an in the expanding my goal to go global.

I would love to network myself out of state, even starting in Idaho or Oregon at tiny schools who just want technique. I am willing to take workshop after workshop to be a better teacher and to help this goal. I envied my high school choreographer. We had rehearsals where we just charted the show because for two weeks after that rehearsal he would be in California, Alabama, Ohio, Canada, Washington, and even Texas to write shows and teach as a special guest. Imagine me doing that...ME. I want to stay with Springville as their full-time director. They have a lot of potential and heart and I see their big break coming soon. However, I look at people like Lindsay, like my choreographer, like Cory who are doing so great in their respective fields. I want to do the same!

However, I am doubting myself. I know how to approach the said school in the first paragraph, but I fear what may happen in this pursuit. What if I fail to help a group? I could potentially hold the fate of many programs in hands. A lot of band directors decide the fate of their colorguard programs by how successful they are. I could determine that in a good or bad way. I hope I never fail. Now, I start my pursuit!

What My Gut Tells Me...

I like to think I am smart. Until recently, I tend to think things through and have a clear understanding of many things, although there is still so much for me to learn. But I have started trusting my instincts and listening to my gut (and it has never failed me). I have been blessed (or cursed) with a certain "ability" for lack of a better word. Whenever my gut is telling me something important I get a major anxiety attack. I pace around the apartment (or wherever I am) for hour trying to calm myself down and organize my thoughts (I usually fail at this) then sort through why I am so anxious and nervous. Well, this happened recently (within the last week) and occurs on a daily basis. Something that sometimes accompanies this nervous breakdown are recurring thoughts on a particular subject (that is usually my cue as to why I am so anxious). This one steams from my job. Let me explain!

When I started part-time (understatement of the century) teaching at Springville in October 2010, I noticed that Lindsay had established a hard-working well-rounded group. I applaud Lindsay for the work she did and the way she structured the program. However, I have had a gut feeling for a long while now to completely break down and re-structure (or re-construct) the program. I would add in a little bit of everything...Kim, Lindsay, me, and the instructors I was taught by to give these kids the maximum opportunity to grow. I have many ideas that I want to put into play, some that may not work at all, but everytime I see those kids I feel compelled to do something, re-structure everything and build this program from the ground up. Everytime I think about doing so, I get very scared but my gut tells me, if I work very hard to re-build the program this year, everything will work out next year and for the years to come. I feel with the re-structuring of the program, it will allow for smoother transitions, I can help build the program finances and help get respect from the school. It will involve me putting my foot down and not letting parents walk all over me. I may lose some valuable members but I feel that this is right. I am going to let my instincts guide me on how I need to build up the program. I am already executing quite a few things to help the program and am excited about it all! The kids sense that things are changing. Some are taking it very well. Others are still sitting at the edge of the lake wondering if this is a good idea. Hopefully, everyone will be on board. I plan to post plans and musings on this topic later!

The biggest obstacle that my students will be facing as I re-structure the program will be money. I looked at the budget for the colorguard for the next year and I know the only way we are going to support ourselves financially is through rigorous fundraising. There is just one problem...I have to get creative. I am not allowed to use a fundraiser another group uses (like a car wash...that is off-limits because the cheerleaders do car washes and we are not allowed to take away any funding potentials for another group). I have had a lot of people tell to just give up and deal with budget, but I just can't do that. I see other groups in worse situations get funding somehow (Dixie High School in St. George travel to Utah and Salt Lake County to attend every competition...that is travel fees for the bus and a hotel stay and some how they manage). It angers me the way everything in our district is shifted. Don't get me started on the rant that I just had with Victoria about it.

Well, I should get off my rant and soap box now. I am hoping to unveil the new Springville website soon!!! I will post a link to that when it is ready!

Until the next blog...ciao!

30 Seconds To Mars - Closer To The Edge

Closer to the Edge by 30 Seconds to Mars

Before I go through my bedtime routine, I just had to make sure everyone knew about this amazing video that Jared Leto, aka Bartholomew Cubbins, directed. This is the music video of one of the songs of my favorite band 30 Seconds to Mars off their third album This Is War! This is the band in their raw form. In an interview on the This Is War DVD off the exclusive album, they note that this is a mini-version of a tour documentary. This song sat in the trash can for several months before it was rescued and it is truly amazing!

Yes, lead singer Jared Leto is sporting a blonde, black, brown and "pomegranate, not pink" (his words not mine) mohawk in a good chuck of the clip. He often has different hair styles in each music video (but don't go looking at all the music videos if you do not want to see some inappropriate things). This is one of the cleaner music videos as they wanted to capture their tour and their fans (more like family, or, The Echelon as they are called) in the raw pure form that they are. The band plans on (eventually) releasing their official tour video (apparently the video is still with their record label EMI and being reviewed).

The people being interviewed for the video are fans, literally fans that Jared pulled from the crowd to film. He sat some of them down and simply said "I want to hear your story...Go!" and what came from it was amazing. Yes, this video shows just how insane the concerts are, the passion in the band, the drive and commitment of the Echelon and the band and the dedication and hard work this band puts forth (they have been signed since 1998 and have been working super hard to promote their music ever since).

Some things of note...yes, Jared's eyes are that blue and no he does not wear contacts. I find him rather attractive and he will be turning 40 in December (yeah, I was shocked too). His brother Shannon just turned 41 and Tomo, the guitarist, turns 32 this year. They look young in many videos and interviews. Jared's quote is "follow your dreams...no matter what." Yes, he is a dreamer and believes everyone should be. I will post a video with him talking about dreams later. But for now...

ENJOY!

A Scare Coupled With Bad Memories

I had a HUGE scare today. Three friends of mine were in a bus accident. They are performing members of Troopers Drum and Bugle Corp and were headed to Iowa to kick off their 2011 tour when a tire popped and the bus flipped. Does this ring a bell. Several of us were on edge. Was this going to be another Heather Christensen Moment? Were we going to have to say goodbye all over again? I was praying for a miracle...and boy did it come! Casey has a briused arm and leg, swollen face and a broken nose but was released from the hospital after only a few hours. David had his shoulder, left arm and left leg slammed against a wall so a big bruise is left in those spots but he is fine. Gretchen is shaken a bit and is heavily bruised but wasn't in the hospital for more than an hour. We were assured that they are all okay and being looked after by a volunteer corp nurse. They are sleeping now (or trying too at least) and doing well. Casey's phone is still at the crash site so I heard her only briefly on speaker phone Everybody has munor injuries but all are okay!

This news opened up a new wave of emotions for me as well as a lot of people. Many of us realized that both Heather and Sara probably played a hand in protecting all of them. The bus crash from this accident has very similar accounts of Heather's accident that took her life. One person to comfort us, Tiffany Miller. She heard about Troopers accident and dropped everything to help. She was someone who say Heather's body the night she made her final heroic act...and she was with my friends this morning! I send her a facebook message, remembering the day my world turned upside but not mourning because she and Sara take care of us from a far off place. I had memories of the night I found out about Heather and the night I got the news involving Sara. This opened up emotions I had safely locked away in a drawer in my memories so that I didn't have to re-live them again...and tonight I did. A bunch of us were on edge, staying close to our phone and waiting...just waiting for the update. Seeing their faces on the news and hearing their voices made all of us feel so much better. We were not going to have another Heather moment, were we end up angry, confused and cry for weeks at a time because we were not ready to lose our three friends. Now, that the scare is over (I heard they were okay about 30 minutes ago), I should try and sleep. Maybe a nice warm shower will help that process...

Well-rested?

I wrote yesterdays blog completely and totally exhausted understanding that the next few days are not going to get any easier. Today is the last day of technique camp for my students (whom I sometimes refer to as my kids) and then tomorrow three of my kids have clinic while I have a 2 hour circuit meeting and a 2 hour marching band meeting (oh yeah---sarcasm). Then on Sunday, I finally get all the paperwork I need printed and loaded for the Sunday evening weekly Springville High School Colorguard email (yes, every Sunday night from now until I no longer work at Springville High School). Then next week it is five six hour days of parade camp followed by TWO parades next Saturday (holy crow). After that another email will get sent out and then I will happily accept the twice a week early morning rehearsals (I think they start the week before first block finals) until August when another camp AND band camp happen (why do we end up scheduling camps two weeks in a row?). Summer is intense, but everything gets done in the summer so that Fall runs smoothly!

So, last night, after writing my blog about being so tired I ended up just turning off the computer and going straight to bed. To my surprise, I slept rather well. Once I was asleep I didn't wake until about 6:55am (which is quite late for me considering my first class is at 8am). My sunburn on my back and shoulders did motivate me to not sleep until 7:15am like I wanted too, but I did get up later than usual. Surprisingly, I feel well-rested (for now?). Dance kicked my butt today as midterms are next week but I am not as tired as I have been! Maybe the nice deep sleep and just sheer exhaustion drove me to actually fall asleep fast and get some meaningful rest! I plan on definitely napping on Sunday to get the renewed energy I need to tackle Parade Camp week and midterms next week.

Okay, now on to other matters besides my job (which seems to be my main focus). I am thinking of posting a few BIG lists within the next week regarding some art projects I have in mind (and may need help with) as well as a goal/bucket list I have had for a while. I don't want everyone to know about every goal but there are some that may be of interest to people or that I may need some assistance with! I guess that is a promise of two posts in the very near future!

Now, off to print up captain sheets, make a vocabulary sheet and to run the last day of technique camp (oh and fix a rifle).

Tuckered Out Teens and Teacher

I came home from school today and my roommate, Victoria, noted that I looked exhausted. She then said "good thing you are not teaching today!" Actually Victoria, I teach until the end of next week (next Saturday is when my break comes). Even on Sunday, after I attend church, I have some important things to do. It is odd though that I love working hard? Every night I try to go to bed early because I know I will be laying there thinking and thinking and thinking. Since my brain rarely decides to shut up at night, I tend to lay down for an hour or two to think and then eventually fall asleep. So, I tend to be up at all hours of the night and not by choice either. But I trek on everyday!

I went to Springville High School today to teach and even the girls noticed I was tired (as are they). Everyone was very sore (including me) and I was frustrated since we had only three people in attendance and I had a full of work planned. Tomorrow will hopefully be different. More parade work, some rifle practice, more movement phrases and correction of across-the-floor sequences, a bit of paperwork, a lot of negotiating, and overall just excitement that technique camp is done this week (and parade camp for 8 hours everyday next week). I am so excited though. I think the parade routine is going to be boringly easy that way we can focus on other things.

I see the fatigue in my students but their eagerness inspires me. They have high goals for themselves and know what they want and are willing to do what they can to achieve them! They just need to make it through the next few weeks without any mental breakdowns and then I think we will be okay!

I hope to get a few more posts regarding things other than colorguard up very soon. Maybe I can tomorrow after I take a long nap!

It's not the 2nd yet...

I know...2 posts in one day! Gasp! It's not even June 2nd yet, but yes. I am creating another post. I am so sunburnt. I was outside for a good five hours today for my colorguard students technique camp and the sunscreen didn't hold up (higher SPF or apply more frequently?). It doesn't hurt too bad but dance class is going to kick my butt tomorrow since we do a lot of work on the ground and on our backs. I will get a picture going of the burn later. I am so red on my shoulders and neck (surprisingly my face was protected perfectly although I did get a sunburn yesterday on my face that is still healing). I love those girls and they just work so hard. They were pushed pretty hard today and took it in stride. They did everything that was asked of them and more, were praised and criticized (I think I should be giving for praises) and at times begged for us to let them have longer breaks. But Lindsay (former director and now Visual Technician) and I kept pushing, kept going and told them to not give up. We let them out 30 minutes early because they were just so exhausted after five hours (as were Lindsay and I) but what we accomplished was, in fact, amazing. I could see the frustration in their eyes but I know that what they accomplished today and what will be accomplished over the next two days will surpass anyone's expectations.

I asked Lindsay about what she wanted technique-wise in the marching band show this year since she is writing most of it. When she said ..."a double on flag would be nice..." I thought, maybe these girls can do it...and they did. Technically, they are not perfect, but it is achievable at this point. If they can achieve doubles on flag 7-8 weeks prior to band camp, imagine the possibilities of a clean double by band camp in August! I am hoping the other people interested decide to join and show up to future rehearsals! I am excited for this year. Parade season will be rough, fall season will be fun (and cold) and winter will rock! I am super excited for everything! *squeal*

I have a giant art project in mind (well, more than one but you get the idea). I am not going to reveal it yet because it is in the beginning stages, but everyone will be made aware of it very soon.

Time to go to bed.

P.S. A rather long post is coming in the next few days (long is an understatement). It has taken nearly two weeks to compose but you will understand once it is posted.

June? Really?

I can tell you by the bi-polar Utah weather, it certainly does not feel like June. We have had decent weather the past day or so but the rain has been persistent in giving me an Oregon summer instead of a Utah summer (which is just fine by me!).

Everything is in a whirlwind right now. For the next two weeks I do nothing but go to school, do homework, prepare for colorguard, write up papers for colorguard, attend a colorguard instructor meeting (on Saturday), walk in the hot sun to make sure my students are doing everything correctly in two parades, choreography a pep assembly routine, study like mad for a math test and a math midterm, do visiting teaching (my goal is to get it done early), and clean my room (thanks to all the stuff I have had to do it is a mess...not even an organized mess, just a complete mess).

I guess I am shocked that June has crept up on me so fast. So, much is going on in the next little while but I think it will all be okay. I could use another 3-day weekend...please?

I have an idea...

Actually I have quite a few creative ideas but each one is as insane as the other and nearly impossible...which is what makes them perfect!I may need to call some people first (mostly for reassurance that I am doing the right thing) but I think it can be done.

Yeah, this is a random musing and a thought that needed to leave my head or else I would have had a mental breakdown. Don't mind me. I may be just an itty, bitty bit crazy. No worries! :)

The Artist in Me...

I am currently listening to some 30 Seconds to Mars lyrics while I type this up. Tomorrow is May 1st. A quarter of the way through the year and so much has happened. Yesterday, at the colorguard meeting for my students, I realized how important this is to my students. I have an idea for winter season show for the next 3-5 years and they are so dedicated and determined to raise to the challenge. I will give a longer story/blog of there future winter shows later, but for now all I am going to say is I think the 15 potentially committed members are going to know doubles on rifle and will hopefully have a class promotion! A nice five and a half minute show that will push them further than they have ever been pushed is what they need to go to the next step!!!

I am on such a creative high. ever since I left Utah this morning, I have been snapping pictures left and right of the Utah post-storm clouds and snowy mountains, my view of Portland while landing (from the plane), views from my parents house of all the cherry blossoms and the gorgeous trees, all pictures that I have for an idea involving one (or more) creative projects! I even snapped a picture of the Dr. Seuss book we have in our home due to the amazing memories I have involving that book! Plus, I have another creative idea involving "The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins." Oh man do I have many art projects in mind.

I am going to quickly wrap up this blog (for now) but I plan to be back again soon!

Thirty Seconds to Mars - "Alibi" Lyrics

As many of you may know, I am a huge 30 Seconds to Mars fan. In fact, the video above is a song on their recent album "This Is War" titled "Alibi." This is a softer song they sing and one of my favorites! This is not the offical music video (they don't have one for this song), just the lyrics but it is gorgeous nonetheless! Now before I continue on with this post I am going to explain a few things regarding this band and it's fan base:

• 30 Seconds to Mars is a rock band with a touch of punk and screamo (just a touch!)
• They have a fan base that they fondly call the Echelon. Yes, this is a cult.
• The lead singer, Jared Leto, and his brother and the bands drummer Shannon Leto, were raised in a hippie commune where there was no limit to creativity.
• As an example of the noted bullet above, they recently released a censored and uncensored music video of their single Hurricane. For people who want to know, I watched the censored one and found that, even censored, it is still very much a sexual music video.
  
• Although the band does include sex in music videos and swearing in their lyrics, I actually find a lot of their music inspiring.
• They have released three albums. In the recent album titled "This Is War" (also the name of a single on the album) they turned the microphones to the Echelon (the fans) and you hear a lot of fan voices on the album (I Jared said they had about 100,000 people from nine different countires on the album).
• There most recently famous single off the recent album is "Kings and Queens."
• According to facebook, they have over 1,000,000 fans (and counting).
• Jared is a bit crazy and is known to jump past security and into the crowds at music festivals and major concerts. He will crowd surf among the fans just to say "hi."
• All three band members are over 30 years of age, but you would not think it when you look at pictures or music videos.

Alright, now onto the reason for this post. After the release of the controversial music video Hurricane, the band held a live forum and Q&A session with fans to explain the concept and reasoning behind the video. He noted that he did have one (or maybe several) reason(s) as to why he choose the topic he did for the video. He then noted, however, that it wasn't initially about sex, but about being creative with who you are. This inspired me (not the sex part...no). It got me thinking in a way I didn't think before. Later in the live forum, Jared talks about art and what inspires people can turn into something different and to never be afraid of the inspiration that comes to you. Now, I am not going to make a music video about sex, but it did inspire me to sit down and write out somethings I have been wanting to do (in a creative sense). For instance, I have an idea about a movement (dance) piece in involving paint and multi-layered, textured backdrops. I already have a name for it and know it would probably turn into a two (maybe three) part piece! I also have an idea for my students this winter that may push them further in their dance and colorguard training than that have ever been pushed before!


I will post a picture of this list later (it is rather long). Rest assured, there are no plans of sex in my inspirations either!


Now, time for bed before my super crazy, pre-finals week.

I Don't Get It...

I know this entire post is going to sound extremely childish, but right now I am in one of those moods. I sit here in the library after my test to take care of a few things (finishing another paper, getting some studying tools to study for finals, email out some colorguard stuff) and had to get onto facebook to find a message that was sent to me since this is a very important message. I was going into my messages so that I could copy and paste it to the email I was sending out to my students. I kept trying to look for it and couldn't find it. So I decide to ask the person via facebook message for the message they sent me. I searched for their name and it showed as them not being my friend anymore (this is the second person too). I don't get it. Did I do something wrong? I sorta want to ask them if I did but then I would be acting childish for doing so. I just want to know what I did to make these people angry with me. I am the kind of person that tries to fix things. I really want to know, but I don't want it to turn into a "I am not your friend on facebook so I am assuming I did something wrong" type of ordeal. If these people actually read my blog, I want them to know this...I care about you. I care about all my friends. If I did something wrong in your eyes I am sorry.

When I all this happened something in my gut told me it is because of a blog I posted a while ago about serving God and losing friends because of it. I just want everyone to know that there is one thing that I am 100% positive about. Everything else is something I am still searching (on my own time) and I believe life is a playground of discovery. If nothing else works this is the one thing that gets me by everyday and helps me to wake up in the mornings on days that are for sure going to be bad...that there is a God in heaven who is my Heavenly Father and He loves me, wants me to succeed, has a son named Jesus Christ who is also my Brother and completely head-over-heals for me, His little sister, would do anything for me (because He already has done everything and more for me), and that they have restored the true church through the Prophet Joseph Smith. Yes, that is ONE HUGE thing I am absolutely sure about. Now, I love to learn and explore. When I tell people I am a little more on the liberal side of politics, I get the traditional "well, the church is republican." Then that means President Faust was not the right person to be a General Authority. WRONG. I am allowed to be liberal or conservative or independent or whatever I decide to be. What I believe outside of the statement I just made is up to me. If I decided to never be a part of this church for the rest of my life, that is my decision, but I know this one statement is true. If any of my homosexual friends invited me to their wedding, yes, I would go. Whether or not I supported the action is my decision but I will support them nonetheless, because I love them, just like Jesus loves me unconditionally, faults and all.

Many do not know that my political stand varies depending on many things. This does sound strange but I have my religious political views and my "other" political views. Most of the time, I am voicing my "other" views, because quite honestly, I truly believe many of those more than my religious political views. For example, even though religiously, I don't thing gay marriage is conducive with God's plan, I do have that HUGE part of me that says, "as long as everyone who is married follows all the same rules and laws (including taxes and such) I have no problem with gay marriage." Yes, I know I will get several readers who will think I am a very "wishy-washy" mormon. Maybe I am, maybe I am not. It doesn't change my statement. Literally, the one thing that comes me going is knowing that God wants me to get up, do my best, be happy, and endure. That can mean something to different people. I feel that right now (and most likely forever) the only thing in my life that is stable (1,000,000,000% stable) is the statement I just made. There are many be things in the church that I like, there may be things I don't like but I am very sure about this. That is why I still don't get it and probably never will.

So, take me for who I am. This 23 year old woman still in school; still not sure if she picked the correct major; who loves to dance, teach, make music, read and write; is politically independent but leaning towards the more Democratic Party; is naturally curious and quite often weird; and is going through life still trying to figure many things out.

Yeah, I know. A strange post about some weird topics that probably don't make sense. Either take me for who I am or get out of my way. As Mia Michaels recently stated "anyone around you who tells you you can't, you need to discard them and move them out of the way...just go."

Well, Mia, here I go!

School and school

I sit here blogging so I can take a break from two important school items. However, one is for me at UVU and one is for Springville (I am multi-tasking a lot of the Springville stuff). I will first start with explaining what I am doing.

I will start with Springville. I think I have some audition dates for the summer/fall colorguard but I need to check on gym times and my school schedule during potential dates as they may be during finals week. All my finals will be in the morning though so I plan to have auditions in the evening with a parent meeting the day after! I think rifle auditions will be the Friday before so that Lindsay can help me decide on the rifle and potential sabre line for fall! I have been sitting here at my sister's house enjoying family time while working. I have spent time organizing the current potential members list, deciding on captains and equipment manager, updating the April and May calendars, checking prices on new sabres and rifles, submitting fundraiser proposals and writing work for parade! I am spending my two week break from teaching updating my director's notebook and getting everything ready for summer and fall colorguard. I am hoping and praying for at least 12 people for the fall show. Lindsay, Jamie (the band teacher), and I want at least four sabres on the sabre line, four rifles on the rifle line and four flags on the flag line for fall. That would be awesome! Now, we have to check pricing for the sabres. I am super excited for the fall show especially since the drill coach is offering to give us a ton of stuff FOR FREE!!! I am hoping for smooth sailing for fall and spending all summer building up technique. I am sure my kids are not happy with the 6am-9am Tuesay Thursday rehearsals but there is a reason to which I will explain later!

Now, on to college. I have been able to view my classes and I have a lot to think about. I am allowed to take 20 credits for the whole summer so I am thinking 10 credits for first block and 10 credits for second block!!!  That way I am not over loading one block or another will still maximizing my credits to graduate on-time or faster if possible. I get to pick fall term classes sometime this week and need to compare my summer schedule with fall to make sure I take take the next class in my course sequence. Studying is top priority so I need to finish an email and study some more.

Tears of Sorrow, Happiness and Pride

My students had rehearsal tonight. Lindsay and I know the girls are ready and just worked on a few little things here and there to get them ready for State on Saturday. Then we had their final run through before State. Lindsay lost it because it was sadly the last time she would see the show. Itried hard to be the strong one, knowing I would still have at least one more show (two if they make finals) before we start a new season with some former members, some new members and with less of Lindsay's spunk and personality (sad). So, I waited until I was in the car...and then I cried. I cried my sorrowful tears for Heather, wanting and needing her here; for Mama Susan knowing she would not have her only daughter physically here to calm her; for Lindsay for not having what I get next year; and for me and the team knowing that in a few short weeks we will be different.

But I also cried happy tears too. I mentioned to my girls how high they have set the bar for next year. They have averaged sixth place (top 6 in our division go to finals on Saturday) and achieved the highest placement and score they have ever received in the past last week. They are so close to placing (top 3 place) and could receive he needed recognition they need. They were happy today and that always makes me happy. I cried knowing next year could get much better.

I then had tears of pride. Lindsay and I brought these kids along and helped them achieve their goals. We both have had the amazing opportunity to watch them grow and develop as performers. I could list off each one of them and tell you their personality, how they think, where their motivation lies and why they do colorguard. I love all of them like my own children...al 10 of those crazy, dorky kids. They will probably be the death of me one day, but I grow to love them more and more everyday.

I think about the journey I have been on with these kids and I learn something new everyday. I learn how to handle irate parents, how to deal with teenager, when is the best time to motivate students and so on.  I am so looking forward to the upcoming 2011-2012 season.

Now, off to bed. I have a long weekend ahead of me.

It Really Is March Madness

I hear talk of March Madness in terms of basketball season, but I am going through March Madness in terms of life in general. I am writing this blog when I should be in class. Now you may be asking, "Kristen, Why are you not in class?" That is a very good question. You see for the past week, my life has consisted of nothing but school and teaching colorguard. Plus, this week, I had cleaning checks for the apartment which is basically a white glove inspection for the entire apartment. The last two nights I have stayed up nearly all night to finish homework, sew more flags, clean, and finish midterms. I finally went to bed, this morning at 4am after finishing up everything that needed to get done! In my exhausted condition I forgot to set my alarm. However, my phone was on and, after receiving a few text messages from my sister, I woke up realizing it was 7:55am. My class was starting in five minutes. It takes about 10 minutes to get to school and I was not even ready yet. Just getting my ballet stuff together and putting in my contacts would take about ten minutes. So, I decided to carefully take my time with everything and then come to school. So, here I sit in a computer lab writing important emails and updating the general public about my crazy busy life. I think I will start with school.

Midterms seem to last forever. I take my last midterm today and I am stoked to have midterms over with. But then tomorrow my second Chemistry test starts. I am so excited to have a three-day Spring Break next week to finally unwind a bit and relax. I will still be teaching as my students don't have spring break until April, but no classes, hopefully no homework, and enough time to relax a bit! In about seven to eight weeks I get to start the process of finals (exciting would be too sarcastic for everyone). I am not looking forward to finals but it is a way of life I guess. Then I get a nice week and a half long break before starting summer semester!

My job as the colorguard co-director at Springville High School is turning out to be successfully stressful. I do love it though. I love watching my kids excel! I have to sew non-stop for ALA though and that keeps me busy all the time (the sewing finally ends on Saturday). We had a mishap with the ALA flags and I decided to take them home and fix them. My Springville kids are on the cusp of complete success. Last year they were last all the time. This year they are averaging sixth place, but Lindsay and I know they can do much better than sixth place (we think they can do as well as third place)! We will see what happens on April 2nd (Circuit/State Championships).

I have two more things I want to address before I wrap up this blog. First, I am trying to decide if I want to make this blog protected. I don't mind sharing my views and opinions with other people but some people are just plain stupid when it comes to reading things on a person's blog. I have not decided to do so yet but it is an option I am pondering.

The second thing is this...while cleaning my room yesterday, I found a HUGE list of goals I want to accomplish. I am planning on posting it here. Some of it is personally. But it shows people how I think too. I have categorized the list into spiritual goals, educational goals, physical goals, etc. I plan on posting it here and even showing a picture of how long it is (one category takes up 3/4 of a page). Yeah, just some thoughts and pre-cursors to what is to come!

Until next time (hopefully soon), I hope everyone has a fantastic day!

Marching Forward

I can't believe it is already March. This semester is drawing to a close. In 23 days I can pick my classes for the summer term and in 30 days I can go ahead and pick classes for fall term. I have a rough idea of how busy my summer is going to be. So far, my students have parade rehearsals in the mornings from 6am to 9am every Tuesday and Thursday. I plan on having morning classes and possibly working part-time in the afternoon or evening hours (we'll see how that goes). But I need to add in rehearsals for my students in August, Band Council and Staff meetings, and I would love to schedule in some fun!

Thanks to the idea of the semester drawing to a close, all my teachers have decided to dump massive amounts of homework on me. I just finished writing a ballet critique paper and will have to write two more papers for my modern dance class this upcoming week. In chemistry, I finally understand everything...yes, everything, from the previous chapters now. It felt like I was going through the motions, but now everything is clicking. Papers and tests are all I seem to do these days. Plus, I recently helped pick the percussion staff for summer parade and fall marching band. Oh the joys of a growing group. I don't mind that the Springville Marching Band and Colorguard is growing, in fact, that is a good problem to have, but sitting through interviews for potential staff members can get tedious and boring. Then there is the "problem" of picking which staff more will fit with our team. Glad the interviews are over!

I feel that march is kind of a turning point for many people. It is the transition time between winter and spring (unless you live in Utah..lol) and the quarter mark of the year. For me, it is the time to thing about the rest of the year as it approaches. For my colorguard students, it is the time for me and my co-director to start looking at what next year will hold for them even though their season doesn't end until April. It the time to focus on school as finals approach and think of the coming terms and how each term will benefit me as a student. Deadlines start popping up and everything seems to happen at once. So all I can do is "March forward."

Graphs, graphs and more graphs...

I decided to make graphs for my students today. It will all take a while since a good major of it involves previous scores from past shows. They seem to think they are not good enough so it is time to give them a visual representation of how well they have been doing even though Saturday was rough for them (they got seventh, almost eighth place out of ten groups). I am planning on taking pictures of the score sheets and posting their progress here in the near future (before April 4th). Maybe I can snag a copy of their final performance in April to show everyone what their show is!

Until then off to bed.

Why Them?

I have had such an interesting morning. I have cried several times just thinking about the events that I am about to describe. As many of you know, I co-direct colorguard at Springville High School and am a consultant/technic supervisor and American Leadership Academy (ALA). ALA has tried their hardest to pay me. I asked to share a bus with them back in January and they said I either get paid or my kids ride for free. If I had gone through the Nebo school district for buses, both Lindsay and I would not get paid. So, I decided it would be a good trade. I teach and my kids get to competitions (while still getting paid at Springville). So, every competition, my girls get ready, meet at Springville, load the bus and take off with me usually following them in my car behind them. At 1am this morning, I received a frantic text message from the director AND bus driver at ALA...she broke her ankle and can't drive the bus again until...NEXT WEEK. So, I am now thinking "okay, I will just head on over to the district office and request a bus" which is exactly what I did. Little did I know you need to give a weeks notice to get a FREE bus. If I wanted to get a bus for my kids today for the Saturday competition, we would have to fork over over $1,000 (this is to get someone last minute, pay for gas AND mileage, pay the driver, a service fee, a late fee, pay for bus maintenance, as well as a few other little fees). Well, that plan fell by the wayside. Plan B was to get parent to drive the 2 hours and 15 minutes to Garland, Utah, but none were too keen on that idea so that got shoot down very quickly. Now, I wait...wait for a phone call from the Maple Mountain High School and Payson High School director telling me whether or not we can share a bus. If nothing pans out, we have to pay a $150 fee, withdraw from the competition and cannot compete in State Championships in April. Now, I am still looking for a way to get my kids to the competition. All this made me ask the question...why them?

My kids have had a successfully rough year. I know that doesn't make sense so let me explain. When the winter season started in November, Lindsay and I had so many goals for our girls. We had asked them if they wanted a very easy, simple show which would give them the opportunity to stay safe and be about mediocre in the circuit or risk a lot and have a difficult show and possibly do well. They choose the later and had their show staged in under four hours. Since then they have had such success getting their show on the floor. However, that is not to say there haven't been bumps along the way. They are never given ample gym time, the district refuses to fund a team that has not come home with a championship medal, and every coach at Springville High School has made sure or road to success has not come easily. We even had one girl quit and have spent the last week furiously re-staging their show and giving them harder work. Everything that could go wrong with the program has and does. I cry all the time for them hoping that one of these days, they get the break they need. I am hoping to get them out of sixth place and into the fifth place slot this Saturday but we shall see how that works. I always ask why them, because they work so hard to get what they want and deserve...respect from their own school, a chance to prove themselves to the district, funding and a day where they don't need to fret about transportation.

I love those girls to death and would do anything for them. All nine of them are MINE AND LINDSAY'S kids. We stand up for them, show them how to be successful and in return that respect and love us and give us there all.

I love being a teacher...even if they have some disappointments in their journey.

"As For Me and My House..."

I decided to take a short break from writing out the first 36 elements on flash cards to write about something that has been on my mind since this morning. I went to institute were I am enrolled in History of the LDS Church. We were covering the year 1837 which was a year of trouble for the church. Our class learned that Joseph Smith had a lot of people angry at him. To make a long story short many people blamed their economic troubles on Joseph and not themselves. My institute teacher noted that the world today is in a similar situation. When President Boyd K. Packer came out with his recent talk, much of the Homosexual community and it's supporters along with some church members felt that he was wrong. Then my teacher asked the question of all questions..."Are you going to be the people in the temple who saw angels and manifest that the church is true but Joseph Smith has fallen and the people of the world who calm President Packer is wrong, or are you going to follow the Lord? Because the Lord never takes back what He intends to say. He uses the prophet and apostle to share His teachings and He never excuses what He says. I know all of you will face the time when you stand by the prophet because that is what the Lord says or to stand by your friends because they are offended. So, whom will you choose? Whom will you serve?" After class I approached my institute teacher and said "Brother B, I am facing this right now. Although I could never understand what it feels like to have al your friends abandon you like Joseph Smith did, I know the feeling of losing a friend because I choose to serve the Lord." He then looked at me and asked how? So, I will tell everyone how...

Back when Prop 8 was a huge deal, I had a bunch of my friends ask me to join them for a march on temple square. This march (or demonstration if you want to call it that) was to ask the church to not support such a decision. I asked all my friends to leave me out of it since it was for California voters and I need not to vote on it. When it did pass I had many friends become very enraged that I would not pick a side and could not understand how a religion group such as the Mormons could do such a thing. Luckily, I do my research before voting and found out that only 5% of the voters were, in fact, Mormon. A good majority were Catholic. I pointed this out to several friends and soon, thanks to my research, they calmed down and instead focused their efforts on other things. I thought I was in the clear and did not need to defend or explain myself to them. Then, a few years later, President Packer gave his talk and let me tell you, my phone was receiving text message after text message with friends asking how could I support such an intolerant, unsupportive and fallen church. I even had one friend send a text that went something like this...

Friend: I am going to tell you right now...I am angry that you are turning your back on people that care about you.

Me: I care about you so much and love you. We will not stop being friends.

Friend: Not if I have anything to say about this...

Me: ???

Friend: It's me or God and choose wisely because this may be the last conversation we have.

Me: I am amazed and appalled that you would make me choose. You are my friend and should know me well enough to know that if God asked me to leave everything behind and disappear for a while with nothing, I would. I choose God. I love you and I know you are angry but if you can't support me in that decision, we must not be friends then.

I never received an answer back from him. I have seen him around and make special efforts to smile and say hi. After this conversation, I had about 20 other friends delete me from their phones and facebook. The time was now. I had to choose whom I would serve. I cried the entire week knowing what was to come. In the months that followed, more and more dear and close friends of mine asked me to choose them or God and every single one of them left. I have not heard from most of them since that time. In total, I have had over 40 friends leave.

Now, I told this story to my institute teacher not to show that I am some great follower of the Lord, because I am honestly not that great. Everyday, I have doubts, everyday I cry thinking how difficult this task will be, but everyday I receive strength knowing things will work out in the end. My institute teacher then said, "My dear sweet friend. At 23, you should not have had to face such a decision, but I stand by you and your decision. You have my word. May God bless you for this sacrifice. Now, go to your next class. I am sure God is so proud of you!"

I don't know about the dealings of God and how everything will work but this decision is one I have made. I don't tell anyone this story to have a pity party or to show that I am a faithful follower. Instead, it is more of a reality. What I call the Great Division is starting. Christ is coming and everything is going to get much harder before it gets any easier, but "...as for me and my house, I will serve the Lord!"

God's Precious Gifts!

I was reading facebook the other day and noticed a status my sister wrote. Long story short, my niece (due June 7th) has clubbed feet. That is when I realized something. One precious little soul from God was loved the moment my sister found out she was pregnant. Then when the rest of the family found out she had more love and support. She will have her great-grandparents to constantly coo over her, both sides of grandparents (first granddaughter for both sides, second grandchild for Kory's side) numerous aunts and uncles (not to mention great aunts and uncles since I know Aunt Pam and Aunt Marie will probably fight over her! Good thing Aunt Lindsay lives in California so all Cali visits get to be with just Aunt Lindsay) as well as many cousins and friends. This little gift from God will have a trial the moment she is born and yes it could effect her walking. But I haven't met her yet and love my little niece regardless of what will happen to her. It makes me think of God and all His children. I am not even the child's mother and I feel so much love for this baby girl. Yet God has billions (maybe even trillions) of children He loves so deeply no matter what trials they face. No one knows the severity of her condition yet every one of us can't wait to meet her and will be overwhelmed as we all make room for this little one in our hearts. Maybe a few dance lessons from Aunt Kristen will make her a prima ballerina!

Another missing Heather moment...

I read a friends blog today about how she had a terrible 2009 because of the death of a family member. Then she described this family member as her hero. Heather is my hero. I cried when reading this friend's blog because it reminded me of October 2009 when I had received the news about Heather's final heroic act...the day she sacrificed herself to save everyone else's life...and it worked. It was a bittersweet night. I was about to go to bed when a good friend of mine called and told me I was not allowed to be alone when I heard the news he was about to give me. I told him I was a lone and my roommates were out. He proceeded to tell me of Heather's passing. I had never made it to Salt Lake City so fast in my entire life. I rarely speed but I am pretty sure I was going over 90 to get to Salt Lake City. Aside from Cory and Chase, I needed to also check on her roommate, Melodie, who, aside from her family knew Heather best. Everything after that was such a whirlwind.

I do believe that I will see Heather again. In fact, I know for sure I will. But I have a problem with having to be left behind. For Heather it will be no time before we are re-unite. For me, it will be a while. I was at Judge's Evaluation show on Saturday and everytime I saw someone perform, especially my kidlets, I wanted to cry. It would be my first year getting back into full-time teaching without her constant advice and guidance. Yet, I felt proud knowing what I had accomplished and knowing I made these accomplishments with others who knew Heather! I am very good at holding back the tears and pains in front of my students, but once I left American Fork, I lost it. I wanted to have the opportunity to call Heather and ask "so what did you think?" or "did you like it?" or even "what can I do better?" I woke up this morning to teach at Springville and knew I would teach dance basics. Even though I know I can do it, I have doubts. The whole time I kept asking "can I do this without her here?'" I texted Susan who was Heather's other best friend telling her about my thoughts to which she said, "of course you can. She taught you how now she is waiting for you to try...and she is rooting for you 100% of the way!"

I made the decision yesterday to wear a bit of red to ever competition in honor of Heather which is all great too for my Springville kids whose school colors are blue and red!

To my dear Heather, thank you for saying I was your hero when you have always and forever will be mine. Thank you for giving me the strength to make it through my doubtful moments and giving me the courage to go after my dreams. I love you and miss you deeply everyday, but especially when I want...no...need to get your imput and I can't.

Just another missing Heather moment. I'll be alright. I promise.

Now for some Heather quotes to cheer people up!:

"Always do gooder than your wellest time!"
"Did you ever know, you are my hero?"
"I better see 'Hi Mom' written at the bottom of your shoe!"
"Because I knew you I have been change for good." (This one is from her favorite song in the musical Wicked).
"Come here my ADD children!"
"I'd tell you I love you with all my heart but my butt is better so I love you with all my butt!" (hahaha...whenever I think of this one I always laugh!)
"I don't like to be mean but shut up...awe now you made me say the 's' word."
"I am so S-M-R-T, smart!"
...and my favorite quote not by Heather but from the Bible and shown with her picture the first marching band competition after her death at BYU...
"greater love hath no man than this, than a man lay down his life for his friends."

Love and miss you Heather!
1976-2009

Evaluation

Yesterday was a very big and busy day for my career and for my students. As many of you know, I teach dance and colorguard at Springville High School and American Leadership Academy in Spanish Fork. Every January, the Utah Winterguard Circuit host a Judge's Evaluation show. It allows all the groups in the circuit to perform in front of the judge's and receive feedback for their program and their show. It is also a chance for us instructors to see how we can improve our teaching styles and what needs to be focused on for the year. Both groups did great, but I am most proud of Springville. When they finished performing, the judge's were in a debate as to where to put them (which division they should be placed in. Two judges debated Scholastic Regional A and two debated Scholastic Regional AA. One of the judges that debated Scholastic Regional AA was for the sole purpose that we did not have flags done or the appropriate costumes (they are not finished yet). He then proceeded to explain that when he say the costumes and flags that he could have a better understanding of what we were trying to achieve. I told him about the ideas and he was overall impressed and noted that that will help us move up. Eventually, everyone decided to put Springville in the lowest class for the time being but are predicting great things at the next performance in two weeks (February 5th). I am excited to see how everything turns out.

I found out some information the other day that changes everything and not necessarily in a bad way. I just have to readjust my timeline for my life goals. I can't say anything yet but everything will be revealed in time!

Until next time...ciao!

Kristen

Story of My Life

Britt and I went to the dollar theatre to watch a movie and I say this quote in on of the pre-show advertisements...

"I'm not a perfectionist. I am a rightist. I work on a project until it is right then I move on."

Britt then looked at me and said "Yeah. I'll believe that when I see it."

Story of my life. So, I am not a perfectionist...I am a rightist