This Is When The Doubt Begins

I have come to a realization within the last few days. I really want to spend the new few years, not only directing and teaching Springville High School's colorguard, but to also be a visual technician/consultant to other high school programs. My good friend Cory does something similar...he is the main staff member for an independent group known in American Fork as Wasatch Independent but helps out with American Fork High School, American Leadership Academy and various schools in Idaho, California and Nevada. I was at the Pleasant Grove Strawberry Days Parade and saw a school with a strong colorguard. They have an excellent fall program, placing first in their division every year, but never field a winterguard (last I heard it is because they did not know how to go about it). BUT they have the commitment level. I see their band director at all the winterguard meetings every year interested in starting a program but not knowing where to begin. He has a director and I must say, she is a wonderful director, but does not have the confidence to even start. So, I want to take her under my wing. She can be the director (deal with parents, take care of logistics, decision on music and show concept, etc.) but I would love to choose their costumes, write their drill and work and overall help them move along. Plus if they are successful, then I have an in the expanding my goal to go global.

I would love to network myself out of state, even starting in Idaho or Oregon at tiny schools who just want technique. I am willing to take workshop after workshop to be a better teacher and to help this goal. I envied my high school choreographer. We had rehearsals where we just charted the show because for two weeks after that rehearsal he would be in California, Alabama, Ohio, Canada, Washington, and even Texas to write shows and teach as a special guest. Imagine me doing that...ME. I want to stay with Springville as their full-time director. They have a lot of potential and heart and I see their big break coming soon. However, I look at people like Lindsay, like my choreographer, like Cory who are doing so great in their respective fields. I want to do the same!

However, I am doubting myself. I know how to approach the said school in the first paragraph, but I fear what may happen in this pursuit. What if I fail to help a group? I could potentially hold the fate of many programs in hands. A lot of band directors decide the fate of their colorguard programs by how successful they are. I could determine that in a good or bad way. I hope I never fail. Now, I start my pursuit!