Going Nowhere?

It sure feels that way. I have been cleaning my room for the past two hours and I promise, it looks and feels as though it is messier than when I began. I wonder if it is because I am a perfectionist and so I am doing the whole deep cleaning, where I even attack my closet and under bed. Hmmm...this could explain a lot. I started out by attacking my closet and sure enough, I found things I don't wear anymore or that do not fit me in the closet. So, I get to make a few trips to Plato's Closet, Wondering Wardrobe and Deseret Industries tomorrow (I know I'm terrible. I should just go to D.I. and drop off all the clothes there, but I don't have a job so I am going to see what money I can get out of my clothes first). Once I have my closet and dresser raided, I am going to tackle my desk and bookshelves (yes, plural. I have three already just for books and plan on investing my 1 or 2 more for the rest of my books and my DVDs). I hope this doesn't turn into a two day event since I plan to use my Memorial Day Monday to finish some homework (okay, finish a lot of homework) and to play a little!


The test results came back from my doctor. Everything looks to be normal. That's good right? So, why am I still in pain? I was given a prescription for pain killers and told if it doesn't get better in two weeks, then the doctor will have a CAT scan done to check out my insides. I just hope it all goes away soon. It would be nice to not have any more pain.

That's it for now. I better get back to cleaning especially since I have church at 1pm and dinner with the family at 5pm.

What's Wrong With Me?

As a little bit of a back story, I have been having abdominal pains on and off since March, but since the beginning of May they have been consistently bothering me. So, I decided it was time to see a doctor yesterday and she is concerned. She got a red blood cell count (yes, drew blood and almost passed out) and wants an ultra sound today. I go to the hospital at one to get my ultra sound and hopefully we have all test results back by tonight or tomorrow (at the latest). She was debating whether we should do the ultrasound or a Cat-scan and went with the ultra sound first. Hopefully we can pin down what's wrong with me because it would be nice to eat regularly again and not have pain. Here's to hoping...

In other news, Heather's head stone finally went up yesterday, so now my plans for visiting the Delta Cemetery where she is buried are coming together again. I'll be able to find her easily! There's just one problem...Delta is about 1-2 hours from where I live so it would have to be on a weekend. I don't care though. I need to continue my healing process and this may help. Love and miss you Heather!

It's May and there's Snow???

I am a little upset. I woke up this morning to snow. Really Utah? Rain I can handle (and love), but snow in May, when we are so close to June? Really? I slipped twice this morning on my way to class and now everything is wet. My homework is wet, my notes are wet and the ink from my pen marking on my notes is running, this is just ridiculous. I think global warming is suck a hoax and you wan to know why? Because it is freaking snowing in Utah at the end of May. Snow...GO AWAY!!

As I listen...

As I listen, I realize how hard I have to fight and how bad I want it...So, here I go.

I'm a dork...and so is he! Part 2

Yes, mine and Brian's epic Gaia adventures continue! Today we played a lot of Gaia and realized how much of a geek and a dork both of us were. We played a certain part of the game for gold (the source of income in Gaia) and for Orbs (a way to power up). In this particular section of the game, you put together a crew of about 5-6 people and attempt to defeat the saw blades that come to life and try to stop you from fulfilling this task. There are three levels. The harder the level, the more gold and orbs and rewards you receive. We played this particular section of the game so many times that I leveled up 2.3 levels (yes, that is a HUGE accomplishment in this game). When we finally decided to stop, we sat back for a moment looked at each other, laughed and proceeded to acknowledge how big of dork we are. Then we went back to the process we started yesterday. We looked for ways to make ourselves bigger dorks by finding items for our doctor who character and making companions for him. We also started a petition that we intend to send to Gaia asking them to have doctor who items in the Marketplace. Yes, we are dorks! I am a dork...and so is he! But you know what? We would have it any other way!!!

I'm a dork...and so is he!

Today was an interesting day to say the least. I have not been feeling well lately and had a small fever this morning when I woke up. I went to school and studied. Then I got a text from my bestest best friend in the entire world, Brian. He texted me asking if I was feeling okay. I explained to him that I didn't feel well (we tell each other everything). I continued to study since I have a test this week. I finally couldn't pay anymore attention, so I went over to his place where he cooked and laid me down on the couch for me to sleep a bit. I slept for a bit while he finished cooking (he loves to cook). He woke me up to get me fed and then we sat and watched a movie for a bit. Then we hoped on the computer to play our favorite game...Gaia!

For those who don't know, Gaia is an online game. You pick a character (avatar) and then you complete a series of tasks, such as defeating ten gnomes or fighting the animated saw blades. Anyways, you get rewards and gold for all tasks completed. So, today, Brian and I decided to get on Gaia and look around the marketplace. Since Brian's character is obviously a boy we decided to look for a suit and that is when the fun and feeling better began! We are both very avid Doctor Who fans. A recent doctor sported a suit and a trench coat for his costume. Part of his story includes a pocket watch in the third season and in the specials! So, we went crazy and purchased a suit, a trench coat and a pocket watch for our "The_Doctor905" character. We also found out that there are at least six other Doctor Who fans. Now, we are attempting to start a petition to have Gaia sell Doctor Who stuff in the Gaia stores so our characters can sport Doctor Who stuff! Needless to say this made my day and I felt better after all of this.

Yes, I know. I am a dork...and so is he! But we wouldn't have it any other way!!!

Yeah for a fun day with my best friend!

Also, can I say how much I like (not love) summer. I love the idea of having day light all the way through 10:00pm! I love it!!!

Alright, I will stop being a dork now...unlikely to happen though!! :)

Head vs. Heart

I always feel as though I am constantly in a battle. Head vs. heart...that's always the case. Do I do what I want to do or what everyone expects me to do? I have so many things that I think about on a daily basis and I have to decide if my brain or my heart is going to win. I am the kind of person who wants to have her heart win the battle everytime, but logic must be used in all aspects of life as well. I am also catious with my heart because of all the heartache and broken hearts I have faced in the last year. Heather died and I am still facing the reprocusions of a broken heart everyday and I have a very good friend in Afghanistan with a 50/50 chance of coming back home alive and in one piece. I am also facing the idea that someone I love so completely may decide to not love me in return even though he does now. Somedays, I want to run away. Go somewhere new and start all over, with no hurt, but I know that is not possible. Every night when I go to sleep, I wonder if it is all worth it, and every single night the Lord tells me one thing..."it is so worth it." I just have to get through these trials in my life and I will be blessed for them and be blessed with new trials.

I am going to leave some quotes for everyone to ponder on at the end of this entry...

"I wish I could see your trials, your pain. I wish I could feel it and hold you in my arms and tell you how it will all work out. I won't judge you. I will just love you."

"I don't love you because you are perfect. I love you because you are perfect for me."

Summer School and Employment

Yes, folks you read it right. I am enrolled in first block summer courses at UVU. Usually I end up going to BYU (visiting student program) or work. But I have put a lot of thought into it and I feel as though this is the right thing to do! I am liking it so far, but it is only the first week. I am taking it somewhat easy this summer. I decided to go as a part-time student so that once I do find steady employment I can have more hours. I think I am taking about 10 credits this first block.

Now, I am still looking for a job. However, I did receive a phone call yesterday. It was a colorguard instructor asking for some help and yes, I get paid. This is nice. I would like to have a colorguard or dance team of my own to teach, but occasional summer clinics and camps are going to have to do for now. I think I get $40 dollars for helping out today!! Not much, but hey, work is work, right? I do know of a few high schools potenitally hiring for a colorguard instructor, so everyone cross your fingers.

Okay, now off to make $40!