I like to think I am smart. Until recently, I tend to think things through and have a clear understanding of many things, although there is still so much for me to learn. But I have started trusting my instincts and listening to my gut (and it has never failed me). I have been blessed (or cursed) with a certain "ability" for lack of a better word. Whenever my gut is telling me something important I get a major anxiety attack. I pace around the apartment (or wherever I am) for hour trying to calm myself down and organize my thoughts (I usually fail at this) then sort through why I am so anxious and nervous. Well, this happened recently (within the last week) and occurs on a daily basis. Something that sometimes accompanies this nervous breakdown are recurring thoughts on a particular subject (that is usually my cue as to why I am so anxious). This one steams from my job. Let me explain!
When I started part-time (understatement of the century) teaching at Springville in October 2010, I noticed that Lindsay had established a hard-working well-rounded group. I applaud Lindsay for the work she did and the way she structured the program. However, I have had a gut feeling for a long while now to completely break down and re-structure (or re-construct) the program. I would add in a little bit of everything...Kim, Lindsay, me, and the instructors I was taught by to give these kids the maximum opportunity to grow. I have many ideas that I want to put into play, some that may not work at all, but everytime I see those kids I feel compelled to do something, re-structure everything and build this program from the ground up. Everytime I think about doing so, I get very scared but my gut tells me, if I work very hard to re-build the program this year, everything will work out next year and for the years to come. I feel with the re-structuring of the program, it will allow for smoother transitions, I can help build the program finances and help get respect from the school. It will involve me putting my foot down and not letting parents walk all over me. I may lose some valuable members but I feel that this is right. I am going to let my instincts guide me on how I need to build up the program. I am already executing quite a few things to help the program and am excited about it all! The kids sense that things are changing. Some are taking it very well. Others are still sitting at the edge of the lake wondering if this is a good idea. Hopefully, everyone will be on board. I plan to post plans and musings on this topic later!
The biggest obstacle that my students will be facing as I re-structure the program will be money. I looked at the budget for the colorguard for the next year and I know the only way we are going to support ourselves financially is through rigorous fundraising. There is just one problem...I have to get creative. I am not allowed to use a fundraiser another group uses (like a car wash...that is off-limits because the cheerleaders do car washes and we are not allowed to take away any funding potentials for another group). I have had a lot of people tell to just give up and deal with budget, but I just can't do that. I see other groups in worse situations get funding somehow (Dixie High School in St. George travel to Utah and Salt Lake County to attend every competition...that is travel fees for the bus and a hotel stay and some how they manage). It angers me the way everything in our district is shifted. Don't get me started on the rant that I just had with Victoria about it.
Well, I should get off my rant and soap box now. I am hoping to unveil the new Springville website soon!!! I will post a link to that when it is ready!
Until the next blog...ciao!
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