I Don't Get It...

I know this entire post is going to sound extremely childish, but right now I am in one of those moods. I sit here in the library after my test to take care of a few things (finishing another paper, getting some studying tools to study for finals, email out some colorguard stuff) and had to get onto facebook to find a message that was sent to me since this is a very important message. I was going into my messages so that I could copy and paste it to the email I was sending out to my students. I kept trying to look for it and couldn't find it. So I decide to ask the person via facebook message for the message they sent me. I searched for their name and it showed as them not being my friend anymore (this is the second person too). I don't get it. Did I do something wrong? I sorta want to ask them if I did but then I would be acting childish for doing so. I just want to know what I did to make these people angry with me. I am the kind of person that tries to fix things. I really want to know, but I don't want it to turn into a "I am not your friend on facebook so I am assuming I did something wrong" type of ordeal. If these people actually read my blog, I want them to know this...I care about you. I care about all my friends. If I did something wrong in your eyes I am sorry.

When I all this happened something in my gut told me it is because of a blog I posted a while ago about serving God and losing friends because of it. I just want everyone to know that there is one thing that I am 100% positive about. Everything else is something I am still searching (on my own time) and I believe life is a playground of discovery. If nothing else works this is the one thing that gets me by everyday and helps me to wake up in the mornings on days that are for sure going to be bad...that there is a God in heaven who is my Heavenly Father and He loves me, wants me to succeed, has a son named Jesus Christ who is also my Brother and completely head-over-heals for me, His little sister, would do anything for me (because He already has done everything and more for me), and that they have restored the true church through the Prophet Joseph Smith. Yes, that is ONE HUGE thing I am absolutely sure about. Now, I love to learn and explore. When I tell people I am a little more on the liberal side of politics, I get the traditional "well, the church is republican." Then that means President Faust was not the right person to be a General Authority. WRONG. I am allowed to be liberal or conservative or independent or whatever I decide to be. What I believe outside of the statement I just made is up to me. If I decided to never be a part of this church for the rest of my life, that is my decision, but I know this one statement is true. If any of my homosexual friends invited me to their wedding, yes, I would go. Whether or not I supported the action is my decision but I will support them nonetheless, because I love them, just like Jesus loves me unconditionally, faults and all.

Many do not know that my political stand varies depending on many things. This does sound strange but I have my religious political views and my "other" political views. Most of the time, I am voicing my "other" views, because quite honestly, I truly believe many of those more than my religious political views. For example, even though religiously, I don't thing gay marriage is conducive with God's plan, I do have that HUGE part of me that says, "as long as everyone who is married follows all the same rules and laws (including taxes and such) I have no problem with gay marriage." Yes, I know I will get several readers who will think I am a very "wishy-washy" mormon. Maybe I am, maybe I am not. It doesn't change my statement. Literally, the one thing that comes me going is knowing that God wants me to get up, do my best, be happy, and endure. That can mean something to different people. I feel that right now (and most likely forever) the only thing in my life that is stable (1,000,000,000% stable) is the statement I just made. There are many be things in the church that I like, there may be things I don't like but I am very sure about this. That is why I still don't get it and probably never will.

So, take me for who I am. This 23 year old woman still in school; still not sure if she picked the correct major; who loves to dance, teach, make music, read and write; is politically independent but leaning towards the more Democratic Party; is naturally curious and quite often weird; and is going through life still trying to figure many things out.

Yeah, I know. A strange post about some weird topics that probably don't make sense. Either take me for who I am or get out of my way. As Mia Michaels recently stated "anyone around you who tells you you can't, you need to discard them and move them out of the way...just go."

Well, Mia, here I go!