I am usually so excited and grateful that I made it through the week to enjoy a wonderful weekend. However, I must face a weekend similar to what I faced 10 months ago. In under a year I have had to say goodbye to two people that have impacted me in so many ways. Tomorrow I say goodbye and Saturday those of us who have lost these two will celebrate Sara, then, if we can, we will travel down I-15 to visit the teacher that gave her life 10 months ago...our beautiful Heather.
Now, there are certain people (I will not mention any names) who feel that I want to suffer alone and therefore refuse to talk about. This is for all of you...I write to deal but not always publicly and quite honestly I with hold a lot of information from everybody. I don't want to suffer alone (no one does) but I deal in a different way. I am not going to apologize if it seems as though I suffer alone. I put on a strong face and get everyone else through this before I even consider my own feelings. Its habit. I am not going to apologize for how I cope and deal with things. I am more complicated than I think any of you think. Saying goodbye is never easy and, unfortunately I have had to do it more than twice in the last 12 months and have had to do it at least 5 times in the last 24 months but I don't tell any of you who think I suffer alone because then everyone would worry and think I was "driving for attention." I deal then I try to move on. Only a select few know how much I have lost in the last 24 months. I don't tell the world and I am sorry if that offends you. Now, please don't abandon me because of it.
The rest of you whom this does not apply too thank you! Note there are so many who do not know who or what I have lost and how difficult the last year has been but the paragraph above may not apply to you so some of you don't need to worry.
I love you all!
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