You Know You've Lost a Friend When...

You know you've lost a best friend when the following take place...

1. You cry everyday knowing that she will not get the chance to she it.
2. You look at her blog every time it is updated and feel sad that you are no longer a part of her life.
3. You notice she is happily moving on without you and you are trying to make it through the day without her by your side.
4. She visits your state and sees all her friends...except you.
5. You ask her mother everyday if your best friend is doing okay.
6. You worry about her everyday.
7. You start hundreds of emails to try and get her back, but none of them seem to express your feelings correctly.

Yeah, I miss my best friend and I want her back! I just don't know what will bring her back...

Does she know that I have BIG dreams and I don't want anyone to give up on me, especially her. I always work very hard for what I want, I just need to people to come along for the journey. She is on my list of people I want to not give up on me...EVER. Never give up on who I am, or if I am lost never give up on finding me, never give on my ideas (even if they never happen), just never give up on me.

I have decided to make a list of only some of the people I would not want to leave my life ever...

1.Grandma and Grandpa have to be at the top. From the day I was born that were always proud of me and always tell me like it is. They are the only healthy grandparents I ever knew and I thank them for always believe I could and still can achieve the impossible! They will leave this earth someday (I hoping not anytime soon) and when that day comes I will have to work harder than ever before just to make then the proudest Grandparents anyone has ever seen!

2. Momma and Jessica Dupaix- my best friend and her mom (who is like a mom to me). Before our little tiff, Jess always taught me to be strong and was a rock in my life, since July I have felt unsure about everything. She means the world to me and if she is still willing, she will be a bridesmaid the day that I get married (which will not be for a while). Momma Dupaix has always made me laugh and has never turned her back on me, even when my best friend decided she was not happy with me.

3. All my paternal Aunt's, Uncle's and Cousin's. To all my cousin's, we grew up together played many computer and other games and had fun doing so. I take great pride in learning wisdom from my aunts and uncles and I would hope that even though I am far away from most of them, they are still proud of who I am and what I do!

4. My Aunt Lindsay who is great at giving advice and occasionally spoiling her nieces!

5. Aunt Nancy who is always offering to help out any of her nieces whenever the going gets tough!

Again these are just a few. I will post more about this later.

A Long Weekend (or Just Three Days)!!!

A whole has been happening since last weeks post. First, I am way excited for this three day weekend. I have a lot planned. I am going to throughly cleaning my room (and give before and after pictures), go to a bridal shower for a dear friend, watch the BYU/Oklahoma game, read a lot of books, finish homework and sleep-in (I think sleeping in will be my favorite part of the weekend). I am already starting on some of my weekend plans by staying in the library for a while to finish my homework and spend some quiet time reading! I think I am going to enjoy this weekend!

Something else I have to dot his weekend is be really honest with a friend. I am going to attempt to talk to my best friend again and what I have to say probably going to upset her even more, but I must be honest with her. I can't lie to her. That will not get us anywhere in our relationship. I think this fight may escalate a little more, but things need to be said. She has to hear the truth. It will not be fun for either of us, but it must happen or I will loose my best friend forever and I can't allow that to happen.

Surprise Break Before Class

We had a quiz in Ballet today (the first quiz of the new semester) and then did some floor work. The treacher decided to let us out of Ballet early today (Ballet goes from 8am-9:30am and we were let out at 9am) which is nice because I can go get some breakfast and update my blog. A lot has happened recently and I have been taking everything in stride. Jamie and I had a very long talk yesterday and I have come to realize how greatful I am to have my big sister as my roommate (I just hope she feels the same way). Then my father called last night because he found out how rough of a day I was having and we had the same talk Jamie and I had earlier. I love my Daddy! Maybe that is why I am a Daddy's Girl! I have had a lot thing think about recently and have had a lot of things come my way that I never expected.

I have been busy as ever. I have already been assigned two papers and they are both due Monday. I am expecting some math homework today in class, but luckily, I only have math three days a week instead of four or five! This weekend will be very busy, but I think I will survive!

My love to all! Now time for breakfast and math (10am-11am) and then my scholarship meeting!

For Those Who Do and Don't Know...

A lot has happend recently. ore like within the past few months or so things have happened and I have finally started seeing the bigger picture. I have realized that I am going to face some hurt along the way and much of the time I am not going to like whatever is happening...BUT I must do one or more of the following...

1. This is the most important and therefore the first on my list. I must trust in the Lord no matter what. I must rely on Him even through the worst of times. I must remember that when all else fails, He will never leave me and I can always go to Him for anything!!!

2. I have love from many people in my life.

3. No matter what, life is going to freaking hurt but it is what I do to with the hurt and the pain that will determine my path!

4. Life goes on, whether I want it to or not.

5.Everything happens for a reason!

I have learned a lot and still have SO much more to do. To Jess, I love you! For everyone else. I love you too!

Let's Just Start All Over Again...

School starts tomorrow. I love school, I just wish I had a longer break. I have classes MW from 8am-Noom, TTH 8am-9:30am and Fridays 8am-11am. Busy life, busy schedule. Hopefully I get the job I want.

Best Friend...Where Art Thou?

I still have no idea why my bestest best friend in the whole world has decided to cut me out of her life. No matter how hard I try, I feel like I am about to lose her completely. To my "pudding" if you are reading this...come back to me. Please hear my side of the story. Tell me what I did worng. Please...

My Trek to Utah!

I get to trek to Utah...in a car (not a handcart) with my mom and little sister tomorrow at the crack of dawn (6am; I believe that is the departure time). I think I will do another six hour stretch tomorrow (I drove six hours on the way up here). I am somewhat excited to go back to Utah but I am sad that I couldn't stay longer just to see more people and do some more things I wanted to do (like go to Seattle and OMSI, go camping at the beach, go for a long bike ride, goof-off in downtown Portland, etc.). I think next year, I shall do Spring Term and take a month off work to come to Oregon for a month! I can come in July when we have the Ward Campout. I am sad that this is my third (or fourth???) time missing it in my whole life. *sigh* I am not too thrilled about school just because it means less free time on my hands. Oh well!