Something I Wrote in Another Journal!

So, much has happened in this last semester of school. I am amazed I have come out alive although not necessarily all together. But this weekend does even come close to anything else that has happened within the past few months. This weekend, a lot of good and a lot of bad happened. In the past spirit of Thanksgiving, I must say that I was and still am extremely grateful for four very important things I have good for me in my life.

First and foremost, I am very grateful that God is in my life. I have had a lot happen to me that I would have never gotten through if it wasn't for Him. I am a proud Christian (and yes, I believe Mormons are Christians when they are being nice to other people) and have tried very hard to live the life God has wanted me to live. I know exactly where I would be without Him and I do not want to be there.

Now, the second...dance. This weekend a crisis (for me) occurred in the middle of all the hustle and bustle of Blue Devils auditions. One of best friend's life currently hangs in the balance. In a single second I could get a phone call saying this person did not make it (for classified reasons I am not allowed to say anything other than that my best friend has been close to death all weekend long). When I went to dance block the next day, everything I was worried about left me for those few hours. Today, when I was scared to face the world and the possibility of a world without my best friend, dance gave me relief. My teacher said she noticed something was wrong the moment she saw me (I have not slept well or had a decent meal since the news). She pulled me aside and asked what was wrong. I replied "I can't say much except that my one of my best friends in the whole world is literally on their deathbed. She told me to dance (she knows me well). I did and in a matter of minutes my mind was again thinking about alignment and placement and found an hour of relief from the fear!

My third importance in my life...colorguard (dance and colorguard go hand in hand). This weekend I met some amazing people. People with my same interest, the same passion, the same goal...to spin! For me, when I am spinning, everything in life makes sense. Colorguard is my life and it will be for a long time.

Last and most definitely not least, are the friends I have who stick with me through think and thin. This weekend, I had some amazing people care about me and what was happening to me when they did not have too. They sat next to me and held me and comforted me when I desperately needed it the most. They were completely patient and caring when they could have told me to just let it go. Even the few people who came and stayed for just a few hours cared about my well being! Cory, Bailey and Toni all said something that made everything seem better when I thought I was going to be alone. At one point all of them said that when your are in a colorguard you are a family because sometimes your family will not understand or not come to that one important show, but the people you perform with will be the family you rely on. That is very true for me! They all gave me advice and sat with me when I thought I was going to lose my best friend and even now they care about me. They want updates and want me to stay healthy. I love having friends like Jessica who may get a little mad when I spend an entire audition not talking to her, but will let me cry on her shoulder during the long nights when I can't stop thinking about that one boy or can't seem to convince my parents to let me spend Spring Break in Texas or go to a California audition even if it means not talking to her for the whole three days!

As you can see this weekend has opened my eyes to bigger things and even though I am in the middle of a personal struggle, I have the assurance of these four things that allow me to wake up every morning and say I can make it another day!