What none of my students realize is how much I love and care about them. I cried quite a bit yesterday when a student accused me of not caring about my kids. Then when my student this morning threw her stuff down and walked out swearing while doing so. This mornings schedule including getting new work to the end of the show. When I went to set everyone up, one of my former captain's threw her equipment down and said (note there is swearing coming) "this is complete and total bull shit. When you and your lazy ass want to present a show that I am not embarrassed to perform you call me and tell me. Until then I am gone. I practiced and we were still messy. Thanks for making ME look ridiculous. If we weren't ready why did you put us out there. Call me when you have stuff for me to work on." I told her she has no idea what we are doing next and that in fact we were re-working the show today. She looked at me and said "Stop lying to me and tell me the truth. The music skipping was your irresponsible excuse to not have us be together and to throw us off. It is not MY fault or anyone else's fault we were messy on Saturday. Just yours. BYE NOW."
I had decided that I had had it with her attitude and told her the following "Fine. Leave and when your are ready to apologize for acting out of line, yelling and screaming and for disrespect to the team, you may come back. Until then, there is the door. You are excused!" She picked up her stuff and stomped out only to turn around and tell her best friend "You better pick the right side or we are not talking anymore." Her best friend followed her out. But that was not the end of it. I was staging the end of the show when some parents came up. No warning. Just a simple surrounding and a "we are not leaving until you talk to us." One of them is upset her daughter was cut as a captain for her attitude. Another was angry that the show was a mess on Saturday. A third did not say anything but rather was there because these parents were trying to have a strength in numbers situation. I finally told them the following "Look, you can make an appointment to talk with me after rehearsal. If you want Ms. Teot present you can make the appointment with her as well. I will not tolerate an interruption of rehearsal because you are upset. Either meet me downstairs or send me an email. I have work to do."
I think my favorite part is when Jamie Teot, the band teacher came up to me to have a chat with me. She noted the parents were angry and gave me suggestions on how to work with them. I was about to cry from stress so I instructed the rest of my kids to go over the flag feature phrase. That is when the trouble really began. My former captain came back and said she was going to be helping. From what I have gathered from the kids, they were yelled at by her and told to do what SHE said and not what I said because Jamie is my boss and if Jamie tells her (former captain) to run rehearsal then Jamie trumps Kristen and she (former captain) is allowed to do what she wants. Apparently afterwards, everyone got into it with each other.
Now, I have been receiving text messages non-stop about how the band teacher has decided to re-instate captains and how the students are not happy that the band director is making decisions for me.
I don't think any of them realize how much I love each and everyone of them, how much I want the best for them and if I had known they were not ready, I wouldn't have had them perform. They were clean in warm-up and in our Thursday rehearsal. They gave me every reason to believe they were prepared. I apologize if they felt I was the reason for them being so messy (sometimes apologizing for something you didn't do goes a long way). None of the kids had any resentment (aside from the usual two). They said they froze but that they were just not expecting so many people to watch them. They trust my judgement and plan to continue moving forward.
They don't realize that I care so much more about them then they know. I spend many nights laying in bed thinking how I can help them get better and how I can do my best for them. I have had times when I would wake up at three in the morning and choreography in my room a certain section and then write out how to help them achieve it!
I just wish they would realize that!
1 comment:
If there's anything I've learned from being a teacher, it's that sometimes, no matter how upset the parents are, you have to bite your tongue and LISTEN. Let them vent, no matter how ridiculous. Listen to what they are trying to tell you, then calmly handle the situation. The more you make parents upset, the more problems you will have with the students, especially teenagers. 1st graders are forgiving, teenagers not so much. Be careful how you handle things, sis. Believe me, this comes from a teacher who has dealt with her fair share of upset, irate, and disrespectful parents. No matter how much you want to lash out, don't. If you have to interrupt rehearsal, then do so and NICELY explain that the best way to get a hold of you is after rehearsal hours or through an email. Careful little sis. The way you handle parents could have repercussions on future job applications. Just sayin'!
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