Another missing Heather moment...

I read a friends blog today about how she had a terrible 2009 because of the death of a family member. Then she described this family member as her hero. Heather is my hero. I cried when reading this friend's blog because it reminded me of October 2009 when I had received the news about Heather's final heroic act...the day she sacrificed herself to save everyone else's life...and it worked. It was a bittersweet night. I was about to go to bed when a good friend of mine called and told me I was not allowed to be alone when I heard the news he was about to give me. I told him I was a lone and my roommates were out. He proceeded to tell me of Heather's passing. I had never made it to Salt Lake City so fast in my entire life. I rarely speed but I am pretty sure I was going over 90 to get to Salt Lake City. Aside from Cory and Chase, I needed to also check on her roommate, Melodie, who, aside from her family knew Heather best. Everything after that was such a whirlwind.

I do believe that I will see Heather again. In fact, I know for sure I will. But I have a problem with having to be left behind. For Heather it will be no time before we are re-unite. For me, it will be a while. I was at Judge's Evaluation show on Saturday and everytime I saw someone perform, especially my kidlets, I wanted to cry. It would be my first year getting back into full-time teaching without her constant advice and guidance. Yet, I felt proud knowing what I had accomplished and knowing I made these accomplishments with others who knew Heather! I am very good at holding back the tears and pains in front of my students, but once I left American Fork, I lost it. I wanted to have the opportunity to call Heather and ask "so what did you think?" or "did you like it?" or even "what can I do better?" I woke up this morning to teach at Springville and knew I would teach dance basics. Even though I know I can do it, I have doubts. The whole time I kept asking "can I do this without her here?'" I texted Susan who was Heather's other best friend telling her about my thoughts to which she said, "of course you can. She taught you how now she is waiting for you to try...and she is rooting for you 100% of the way!"

I made the decision yesterday to wear a bit of red to ever competition in honor of Heather which is all great too for my Springville kids whose school colors are blue and red!

To my dear Heather, thank you for saying I was your hero when you have always and forever will be mine. Thank you for giving me the strength to make it through my doubtful moments and giving me the courage to go after my dreams. I love you and miss you deeply everyday, but especially when I want...no...need to get your imput and I can't.

Just another missing Heather moment. I'll be alright. I promise.

Now for some Heather quotes to cheer people up!:

"Always do gooder than your wellest time!"
"Did you ever know, you are my hero?"
"I better see 'Hi Mom' written at the bottom of your shoe!"
"Because I knew you I have been change for good." (This one is from her favorite song in the musical Wicked).
"Come here my ADD children!"
"I'd tell you I love you with all my heart but my butt is better so I love you with all my butt!" (hahaha...whenever I think of this one I always laugh!)
"I don't like to be mean but shut up...awe now you made me say the 's' word."
"I am so S-M-R-T, smart!"
...and my favorite quote not by Heather but from the Bible and shown with her picture the first marching band competition after her death at BYU...
"greater love hath no man than this, than a man lay down his life for his friends."

Love and miss you Heather!
1976-2009